Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
