She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
