If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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