that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
