In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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