i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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