It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
