But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
