i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
All I want is dick and wine.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
