I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
