Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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