Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
