I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
