the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
