My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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