Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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