Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
