when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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