he thought i was a dude.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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