my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
