If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
