ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
