so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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