whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
