i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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