Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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