I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize