Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
