I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
