No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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