jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
