i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
