I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
