would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
