I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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