Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
