every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
