Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
