At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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