There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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