he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
