dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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