I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think I died a long time ago.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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