Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
