I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
where am i from again
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
