We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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