Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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