If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
