Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
