he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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