Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
