he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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