every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
