you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
