Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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