hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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