I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
