I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
