That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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